Introvert - finding energy from within

As a highly introverted person I've spent years trying to figure out how to balance the social "requirements" of being a human and the need for solitude to recharge. I thought I understood what it is that I need in order to stay energised, until more recently when all of this was challenged and I was forced to truly dig deep for my energy, which luckily I did find within.

Over the last few months I have had a lot happening in my life, starting from a role change at work, to travelling to Asia with two teenage boys, whom have never travelled to Asia, to losing a dear loving friend, to cancer. With all this going on, and the business-as-usual chaos I found my energy level dwindling each day. Every opportunity I got, to just tried to find time to stop. Anything to not think or talk to anyone. The physical and emotional exhaustion was sucking the life out of me. I was deferring everything, for when I get my energy back. I have to admit, there was one positive from this, and it was my ability to be ok with having housework continuing to pile up.

In the midst of all of this, one weekend I decided I was going to shut myself out and withdraw from the world for two days and do nothing except watch TV, eat and sleep. And I did just that! By the end of the two days there would be a re-energised me who could start doing everything I was deferring. So I thought. In fact at the end of the two days I was still tired and actually more unmotivated to do anything. OMG when will I ever come out of this?!?!?!

Then just a couple of weeks ago I attended an online meditation session with one of the helpers in Korea. Something she said really resonated with me. She too is an introvert and had always made space for solitude to gain energy after running long meditation sessions and interactions with people. However, she recently found that this actually wasn't giving her the recharge she thought she would get. Instead, she discovered through her meditation that by getting out of her own mind and actually sharing her positive energy with others, through speaking positively, and by "doing" / taking action, she was getting more energised. It all made sense. My extended period of solitude was drawing me away from the world outside, which is full of life, and pulling me into my own mind world which is just full of thoughts and completely separate from life. Not moving and doing nothing made me want to move even less and do more "nothing". It was then, that I truly realised that moving is to live and be alive.

So the next day I started to just do and move. As long as I got my required sleep, if I didn't feel like doing something and felt "tired", I would throw away that mind, and just do. Once I started doing this and ignoring my negative mind, I actually started to get more energy to be able to continue to do more. So basic, yet I was too silly to realise it. I use short periods to stop and get rid of anything that has accumulated in my mind but eliminating what comes up, more and more on-the-go is gratefully allowing me to be able to "just live" everyday! I am able to listen and respond to my body better. I'm really grateful for this discovery and hope this helps others in a similar situation to me, to discover the same.

#life#introvert#energy#meditation#reengergise